Shaman: Timothy “Whispering Eagle” Aguilar

Timothy in ceremony

 

Timothy “Whispering Eagle” Aguilar

Jan 26, 1959- Jan 3, 2009

Timothy is my spiritual teacher. Even in death, his presence, wisdom and guidance still bless my life in memories, events and eagles soaring above. I was blessed to have experienced a great life with Timothy. He taught me so much about God, joy, people’s souls and healing. He taught me how to live joyfully and in his honor, I will continue to teach others joy.

On this page, I will blog about Timothy, by doing my best to write down everything he taught me as the days go by.

These are a few of the things that came to me right away that he would say to me:

Do you want to be right or do you want to be in the relationship?”

” Either you believe in God 100% or not at all, you can’t believe in anything 99%” 1% is doubt. “

It hurts, me Tonya to see you in pain.”

I learned to stay out of painful situations better.. when i realized Timothy was experiencing the pain with me. I did not realize my friends and family felt the painful situations I had put myself in.

I remember when he first said that to me, I was in shock it never occurred to me that others could feel my pain. It was very important, because then I also learned I was feeling others pain. The next lessons would be to differentiate the two, my pain and others’ pain.

Timothy loved to swim in the ocean, and he was a great father. We spent alot of time on the beach. I watched him walk through some truly difficult times and Ziari’s best interest was always first in everything he did. I remember how he made sure everyone knew that Wednesday night belonged to Z. Nothing came between he and Z. I respected his commitment to his son.

Ziari is everything to him, still. We once made a wish that our sons would one day know each other and play together. When we both made that wish it was close to impossible that it could happen. That is the great thing about Timothy, which I miss terribly is that impossible things would eventually become the norm. He taught me to trust in the impossible and believe in miracles.

Our sons were able to spend time with each other and that meant alot to all of us. With my son A.J, we would all go to the beach and jump in the large cold California waves together.

We were always laughing, those organic authentic laughs,that make your belly hurt and tears come to your eyes. I saw Timothy laugh like that alot. I think I miss that the most the constant laughter and joy..

I miss his phone calls, i really thought those were going to last the rest of my life. When ever things were truly hard, I would just pick up the phone and call him and he would be on the other end making me laugh before long.

Timothy taught us to play hard and eat well.

Timothy’s kitchen

We shared a lot great meals together with friends and family.

Timothy would make these chicken and cheese tacos in his microwave in 30 seconds, I still crave them…. He would always ask you if you needed anything. Hot tea?

He was one of my dearest friends. I loved him very much. So much of me is owed to him. The way he walked in the world was very Christ like.. not perfect,but perfect hearted. We danced, we went to the movies, we loved to eat mexican food, especially the cheesy appetizer that got all over the table as we tried to put it in our mouths. We went to Govindas weekly and ate the best hari krishna food in LA. We were family. He loved the movie Braveheart.

Theme to Braveheart

Timothy and Sherry

Sherry is the love of his life. I am so happy Timothy found her before he died. I witnessed his patient wait for her over the years, we were very close. Timothy was surrounded by people, but I could always feel and see that space for the love of his life.

I had heard Timothy talk about the woman of his dreams often, so, I too recognized her as the love of his life when I first saw her. Actually, I knew he was in love with Sherry, the first time I heard Timothy say her name over the phone, I could feel the love in his voice. He was so in love with Sherry, he loved to tell me how happy he was sharing his life with her. His last Christmas, he called me to see about bringing Sherry home to New Jersey, Timothy wanted to know what the weather was like on the East Coast, he wanted to surprise her. In Sherry, he had met his match. I believe in twin souls.

Timothy loved everybody.. tough love too..

I have no doubt of how much he loved me and my son. Timothy always made sure you knew how much he loved you.

I Love you, Bro, …Brother…He like to say those words. I liked to hear him say them. Timothy lives in me everyday. His teachings, his love, his words, and gestures. Peace. I can’t believe that you are not here. There are days when the absence of your physical presence still brings me to tears.

Timothy loved AJ, like a son and that touched my heart.

Happy Birthday, Timothy!!! Today is your 51st birthday. Jan 26, 2010.

I miss you very much , Timothy.

He loved all of his families, brothers, SEAL, NATIVE AMERICAN ANYTHING, He was very proud to be of mixed heritage, Celtic and Mexican.

One of the greatest percussionist on the planet. He drummed magnificently.

Venice Beach, Venice Beach, Venice Beach He was the, is the King of Venice.

Rest in Peace my beloved brother..”Now we are free. I will see you again…. but not yet…. not yet. Gladiator Now we are free

His teachings will live forever.

THE FUTURE

January 22, 2011

I was wondering why I was feeling and thinking of you so much today, and then I realized your birthday is soon. I am remembering the birthdays I missed and regretting not honoring them. I can hear you almost instantly tell me to stop being silly, there are no regrets between us. I think it takes time and distance to really write about you. Three years have passed since you died. The past two weeks have been very intense and my “plate has been full.” Years ago, when my “plate was full”, I would call you crying and you would talk me through my difficulties and by the end of the call I would be laughing again.

In the midst of these recent challenges, you weren’t there to call. I looked at your picture on my desk and missed you. I would have to face these challenges on my own, I could not hear your voice to heal my heart and calm my tears. I miss you, Timothy..

You prepared me to live my life without you. I am strong because of you.

Remember to breath, Tonya. Just breath. Speak your deepest truth. Never speak badly of others, who are not present to stand for themselves. You would stand for me. You would hug me and not let go. You taught me to hug all the way, and love deeply.

Most of all you taught me to let go. Be present and give 100% of your self to others in the moment, and then when you leave them let them go. God takes care of them.

You taught me that when I over help, I didn’t allow others to take care of themselves, or to find their own relationship with God. You believed in respecting everyone, especially in our walks on Venice Beach, in your conversations with the people on the beach, you would speak to them as if you were speaking to God. You taught me that God was in everyone one. Love is everyone. Heaven was real. Hell was real too..

I was in hell when we met, you asked me how long did I want to remain in the muckity muck. When was I going to pull my self out? I have pulled my self out of the muckity muck, you would be so proud.

I know you drank. I trust your reasons. It hurt that you never told me. You shared so many confidences, you could have told me you were sick and drinking. I still would have loved you the same. I still would have stayed your friend. Nothing would have changed. You always stayed with me through everything. I would have stayed with you through everything.. You were a great friend. We were great friends.. Am I writing to a dead man? or are you still alive in my heart? Do you fly around with eagles, do you speak to Jesus, you loved him.. You even looked like him at times..

You were magnificent, I loved watching you dance, riding in your batmobile and cleaning your home, watching you live. We stood together in front of the tv when the trade towers came down. We said, “The world would never be the same.” , and we were right,it has not been.

Would it be okay, if I said, I wish I was with you sometimes? It is cold here, and life can be hard and some people can be cruel.

I have lots of love in my life,so I will stick around on the earth for a long time. Sometimes, life is just hard..

Well, dear love, Happy Birthday, I just called your son, He sounds good.. He was going to work. I am glad he is okay. You raised him well. Life continues.


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